Falling Short #UseYourWords March 2015

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

vast ~ summit ~ expectations ~ rough ~ treat

They were submitted by: http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com (Thank you for such great words!)

I always open the e-mail that contains my words for that month, with such excitement! I never know what words I will get or what they will inspire me to write. Each month is such an exciting journey. This month's words instantly inspired me, in two completely opposite directions. I am hoping I can merge the two into one, in a way that makes complete sense. 

As most of, if not all, you know, I am the mom of a wonderful little girl. Here on the blog, she is called Weewee. This will be changing. I will try to figure our her new name soon. It has been rough trying to decide what to call her. I was thinking about calling her Batman. Now, I am just not sure. Her Dad has called her Batman since she was growing in my womb. I tried explaining that she is a girl, but he didn't care. She has just always been Batman. I am worried this will confuse readers, and maybe make them feel she is a boy. So, I have not officially changed her blog name to Batman. 

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, I am the mom to the most amazing little girl. She is by far the best thing that has happened to me, among the vast array of great things that have happened to me. Some could argue that giving birth to her was my life's summit. It was definitely the highest point thus far. I am kinda hoping I go higher though. Like the day I watch her graduate from Grad School with her chosen degree, and starts down the road of making this world so much better. Possibly, her wedding day, when she marries the most amazing man I have ever met, other than her father. Maybe the day she gives birth to her own amazing child, and I get to be a grandma. 

We all have expectations of how our lives will be. Sometimes we are right. Other times we are wrong. Sometimes we find out our life far exceeded our expectations. Thus far, Weewee has so far exceeded any expectations I have ever had on what any child I would give birth to, would be like. She amazes me on a daily basis. She is so beautiful, inside and out. She is so young, but already shows some love and compassion. It has been a wonderful treat to watch her grow and learn. She is just the neatest little girl. I am so blessed, to be her Mama. 

I also had expectations of how I would excel at being a Mom. I have to laugh as I type this, because let me tell you, I have not even come close to meeting or exceeding those expectations. I fall so short. Most days, I find myself thinking about how Weewee deserves so much better. The beautiful thing is that she loves me anyway, and she excels despite my shortcomings. 

Some days, I feel really on the ball. I work with her on her vocabulary and make her laugh a billion times. I teach her new words and teach her silly things (like smelling her feet). I give her cuddles and kisses. We eat yummy foods and she gets her Elmo time. I stay mostly on top of the messes she makes. I feel proud. 

Some days, I can barely move. She eats the simple foods I am able to make for her. She has to come to me on the couch to play. We barely work on her vocabulary. I find myself telling her that I am sorry that I am not doing so well today, over and over. I fall very short on many levels, of being even remotely the mom I want to be. 

No matter if I am having a good day or a bad day, she treats me the same. She gives me kisses and hugs. She laughs at my silliness. She shows me tenderness and compassion. She looks at me, with this look that says 'You are MY Mama and I love YOU just the way you are'. Her dad constantly says, he feels that she can sense when I am not well, and she adjusts her behavior accordingly. She comes to me more, and requests me to join her less. She gives me more cuddles and kisses. She goes easier on me. I think he is right. I think she gets me.

As she grows, I hope that I too can get her. I hope I can understand her, just as she is. That I can help her to grow and learn, and to be the best person she can be. I hope I can inspire her to become the beautiful person she already is. 

I have fallen short on my expectations of what type of mom I would be, but I set my expectations of my future child very low. She is here, and she is proving my expectations to be very wrong. I had no idea I could create such an amazing individual. She truly blows my mind. I see such beauty in her, inside and out. She is full of love and intelligence and potential. 

I may not be able to do all the things I should do, but I will do my best. She is slowly teaching me to cut myself some slack. Whether I am on the ball fully or I am hitting foul ball after foul ball, this kid loves me. She is resilient and goes with the flow. She is already far cooler than I will ever be. 

I look around me, and see mothers of all types. I see dads of all types. I realize I am oftentimes not alone, in the hard on myself department. I see so many parents being so hard on themselves. I just want to hug everyone, and tell them that they are doing their best and they are good enough. At the end of the day, that is what I tell myself. No, I didn't get it perfect, but I did my best, and that was good enough. 

Who knows, maybe I have reached my life's highest point. Maybe giving birth to this amazing little girl, is the best thing that will ever happen to me. One thing is for sure, it is enough. She is enough. Loving her and growing with her is enough. That is one thing she is teaching me. Yes, I will always hope for more, but I will always be content in what I have. Yes, my life could always be better, but I will be happy in the life I have at this moment.

She is our miracle. She was supposed to be so sick. She possibly would not even survive. She did. She not only survived, but she has thrived. I am so completely grateful. She has taught me so much in the short time that I have been her Mama. She has taught me to love like I have never loved. Hope like I have never hoped. Appreciate like I have never appreciated. Accept myself like I have never accepted myself. Despite going through some of the hardest times of my life, and not being nearly as good as I want to be, she has made me better. 

Is that how it is for you, if you have children? Do they make you better, despite your shortcomings? Do you have a person in your life, that makes you better just by being in your life? I hope you are all just as blessed as I am.

As for her name... any suggestions? I do like Weewee, but certain people hate it. I do agree that as she ages, it won't be the best name. I would like to decide on a name that I can use now, and when she is older. Does Batman work? Some other names that have been considered are; Cookie, Munchkin, WGRB, Weebee... Do you like any of those? Any suggestions of your own? I would love input! 

Thank you for taking your time to read my post! Happy Second Month in a Row Friday the 13th! I hope your Friday is fabulous and your weekend is magnificent! Now do yourself a favor, go forth and enjoy all the other March 2015 Use Your Words posts!

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                           Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                        Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch                    Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                                Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                             Searching for Sanity

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com                                        Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                                          Climaxed

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                                Evil Joy Speaks            

Saint Jules of Lard #SecretSubjectSwap March 2015

Welcome to March's Secret Subject Swap. This week, fourteen brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Your “Secret Subject” is:

In honor of St. Patrick's Day this month, if you could be a patron saint of anything what would it be and how would you receive the honor?

It was submitted by:  http://www.smalltalkmama.com (Thank you for such an interesting subject! <3)

I recently watched the movie "St. Vincent" with Bill Murray, and it gave me a very interesting perspective on this subject. Had I received this subject sooner, I would have had a much harder time answering, I believe. The movie really helped me to see there are "saints" among us, even if they don't fit the usual definition of what a saint is.

Under the usual definition of a saint, I am definitely not a saint. By the standards set forth in "St. Vincent", I could pass as a saint. I think it is kinda awesome that I get to choose what I am the patron saint of. There are so  many things that are dear to me, that I think would be awesome to be the patron saint of. At the end of the day, I want to be a dual patron saint. I hereby declare myself the patron saint of coffee lovers and moms that have suffered child loss. 

I would graciously accept the honor to be the patron saint of such wonderful people. I chose coffee lovers, over coffee drinkers, because the coffee lovers are my people. Coffee drinkers aren't quite there yet. I chose moms that have lost a child, because I know their pain. 

I would make sure that coffee lovers would have delicious coffee all the days of their life. I have read about potential coffee shortages in the future, I would work miracles against that.

I would comfort the grieving mothers. I would watch over their children, until they are reunited. I would do my very best to make it better, even if just a little bit, for the moms. 

I would need a name. Saint Jules of Manteca (The name of the town I live in)? Well, Manteca means Lard in Spanish, so maybe not. Saint Jules of Coffee?? I think we are probably onto something. Yes, I could probably embrace that name. 

What about you? What would you want to be the patron saint of? 

Thank you for taking the time to read this! I hope your Friday is spectacular and your weekend is amazing! 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup (of coffee), and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com                          Spatulas on Parade

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                      Climaxed

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                       Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch               Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://thelieberfamily.com                                            The Lieber Family

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                            Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                           Searching for Sanity

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com                                  Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.smalltalkmama.com                                Small Talk Mama

The Cat in the hAttic... #FunnyFriday February 2015

Today’s post is February’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they've come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here’s today’s picture. It was submitted by Sanity Waiting to Happen    http://www.angelaweight.com

1. Must stop accepting dares. Must stop accepting dares. Must stop... What was that?

2. Take the job as Mouse Hunter, they said. It will be a safe job, they said.

3. Atticus decided to take the stairs less traveled. He ventured out into the unknown, hoping this new territory included mice and pillows.

4. I bet the mother lode of goodness is up here. It must be. They keep it closed all the time, just like they keep the treat jar closed. All.The.Time.

5. To overcome my fears, I must face them. Please don't let the Boogeyman get me. Please don't let the.... What was that noise? It was the Boogeyman, wasn't it? Abort. Abort mission.

Thank you so much for spending some of your Friday with me! I hope you have a fabulous day and a spectacular weekend!

Now go forth and check out my friend's Funny Friday posts, and let them add some laughter into your day!

Follow me home (http://followmehome.shellybean.com)

Baking In A Tornado (http://www.BakingInATornado.com)

Someone Else’s Genius (http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com)

Confessions of a part-time working mom (http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/)

The Momisodes (http://themomisodes.com)

Sanity Waiting to Happen (http://www.angelaweight.com)

Spatulas on Parade  (http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/)

Juicebox Confession  (http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com)

Cluttered Genius (http://www.clutteredgenius.com)

Stacy Sews and Schools (http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com)
People Don’t Eat Enough Fudge (http://peopledonteatenoughfudge.blogspot.co.uk)

I love coffee, do you?? #Giveaway

Happy Valentine's Day!!! It is my favorite day of the year!!! This has always been my favorite holiday. I think love is awesome, so a holiday that celebrates love is right up my alley. 

To me this day is about so much more than being in a relationship. It is about loving others and loving ourselves! I feel like people often get so hung up on being in a relationship, that it can ruin the holiday.

So, I decided that today would be the perfect day to do my FIRST GIVEAWAY!

Everyone is blessed with people to love and that love them. I hope, whether you are single or not, you can find joy today! Joy in loving others and yourself. 

I also hope you also find joy in the opportunity to win a $25 gift card to Starbucks!

Thank you all for supporting me and being loyal readers!

Things I Love:

1. God

2. Family

3. Friends

4. COFFEE

5. Freedom

6. Paying It Forward

7. Sunny days

8. COFFEE

9. Writing

10. Reading

11. Music

12. COFFEE

13. Soft pretzels without the salt

14. Giveaways

Best of luck to each of you! Thank you for being fabulous and loyal readers of my blog! 

Love, Jules

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Kinship of Motherhood. #UseYourWords February 2015.

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

enterprise ~ peculiar ~ kinship ~ empathy

They were submitted by: http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com

Thank you for such great words! 

I posted recently about the #Mommitment petition. I believe strongly in it. I found it at a time, when "Mom Wars" were the principal focus of my thoughts. To be very honest, I do not fully understand Mom Wars. I think maybe because I feel such a peculiar kinship with my fellow moms. Whether I agree with their parenting styles or not. I would be insane to expect every mom to parent their child exactly as I do. I am not sure if it is because I am able to agree to disagree, or if it is because I firmly believe in treating  others as I wish to be treated, or if it is because I have a strong ability to extend empathy to others. 

Regardless of the reason I am able to accept different parenting styles from other parents, all that matters is that I have noticed a huge problem. Far too often I see other moms and dads being ripped to shreds, simply because they state opinions on parenting that differ from the opinions of others. We are all different. We all have children that are different and unique in their own fabulous ways. We all love our children. That is what matters most. We are all in this parental enterprise together. We need to work harder at getting along and extending empathy rather than judgment. 

I do notice these Mom Wars in real life, but I witness them most frequently on Social Media. In my humble opinion, it is a form of cyber bullying. It needs to end. Who cares if a mom gives her kid baby carrots with ranch or organic carrots with homemade organic creamy balsamic dip. The child is being fed. Yes, we should all do our best to make the best choices for our children, including proper nutrition. It isn't up to us to criticize another parent's choices about what foods to provide for their children. 

Do what you feel is best for your children, and allow the other parents to do what they feel is best for their children. We are all apart of the amazing parental enterprise. We are all doing the best we can. We are all loving our children and providing for our children, to the best of our abilities. Some of us struggle more with more obstacles, and others have it easier with far fewer obstacles. That should not matter. We should all build each other up. Encourage one another. Help each other. Empathize. 

I have heard the "it takes a village" mantra for years. Back when I was a naive adult, that did not have children to raise, I remember thinking it was ridiculous. I remember thinking when I had children, I would do it all on my own. Raise them however I want. Instill in them the best attributes and bring them up to be amazing members of society. I remember thinking I would not need help. Did I mention I was naive? I totally understand it now. I get it. I wish I had a village to help me with Weewee. On days when I am sick and she is full of energy, a helping hand would be awesome. On days when I have a million things to do, and she wants to play and play and play some more, a helping hand would be awesome. Yes, I totally get it. 

We need to be each other's village. We need to be a positive impact not just on ourselves and our children, but on the parents and children around us. On those days I am sick, the last thing I need is another parent criticizing me because I am not able to be the best parent Weewee deserves that day. Trust me, being my own worst critic (as we all often are), I am already making myself feel horrible enough. What I do need is another parent to remind me I am doing my best, and maybe offer to be a member of my village. 

We need to stop destroying our villages with senseless Mom Wars. If you do not like another parent's parenting style, that is fine. Either agree to disagree, or join a different village than the one they belong to. We all have the ability to build our own village and choose who to include in our village. We do not have to include everyone in our village, just those that will help build the village we want for our families. 

Next time you witness a Mom War, please do not pour gas on it. Pour some water on it, or possibly walk away all together. The next time you disagree with another parent, rather than waging war or setting the stage for a war, agree to disagree or walk away or politely and respectfully speak your opinion. We don't want to be disrespected, and we should not disrespect others. Especially not other parents. We all know just how hard parenting is. The rewards are amazing, but we definitely earn them. 

Parenting can be scary. There is no need to make it scarier for other parents. 

So, please consider making a #Mommitment to help stop these Mom Wars that are running rampant over social media these days. Let's all work to be the best parents we can be, and remind other parents they are doing the best they can be. Let's put out into this parenting enterprise, what we would like to receive from it. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I do not mean to force my beliefs on anyone. I just wish we could all get along- live and let live. It really isn't that difficult. 

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                                         Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                                                    Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://themomisodes.com                                                                               The Momisodes

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                                                    Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                                    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                                                  Someone Else’s Genius  

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                                           Sparkly Poetic Weirdo 

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                                                      Southern Belle Charm

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                                                       Juicebox Confession   

Happy Friday the 13th!! I hope you have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend!!

If you feel so inclined, please visit my Facebook page and give it a like. (The Bergham's Facebook Page) I have some upcoming giveaways planned, the first of which will be a Starbucks giveaway!! I would like as many people as possible to be able to get involved! So, please spread the word to your friends! Thank you! 

If you want to join the #Mommitment and take a stand against Mom Wars, please feel free to click the picture below and sign the petition!

Clean Up on Aisle Unsolicited Parental Advice #Mommitment

I was shopping a few nights ago, and I had an interesting encounter in the produce department. I was stocking up on bananas. Weewee loves them as do I. Actually, Chad will even eat bananas. He isn't really into fruits and vegetables. As I was filling up my bag with bananas, a fellow mommy decided to give me some advice. 

She wanted to make sure that I knew that I really should not feed my child bananas. There are far better fruits available, and only "idiots" feed their children bananas, and I definitely "shouldn't be an idiot".

I smiled politely and went about my shopping, thanking her for the advice. 

A small part of me wanted to enlighten her. Tell her that she was probably the idiot. Inform her that bananas are just fine. Most things are just fine, in moderation. They personally help me with my leg cramps. 

I wanted to tell her to take her judgment somewhere else, that I was fully stocked, mostly with self-judgement. 

I wanted to tell her I would happily feed my child a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, if she would foot the bill. In the meantime I will do the best with what funds I have, even if that means giving my kid lots and lots of bananas. 

I said none of that. Life is too short. 

I know that I am doing the best I can. That is what matters.

Where was she when I was reading labels and finding the healthiest foods possible?

The thing is... that is how the world works. Parents are so quick to pass judgment and give unsolicited advice, and slow to give compliments. True, genuine compliments. 

I hope this changes. I hope a day comes when we shine spotlights on the good we see in other parents, and genuinely let them know that we see them doing their best.

That is all any of us can do. Our best. Some people have better bests than others, and that is okay.

I fully acknowledge I am not the best mom. I am not the most able mom.

I am doing my best though. I will strive forever to make my best better. 

So, to the mom that gave me advice over the bananas... Thank you. I promise not to judge you. I promise not to call you names. I promise to see that you are doing your best, even if your best is to give advice to other moms. 

If you happen to be reading this, and the encounter sounds familiar, and you are that mom that gave me advice, please know that I am genuinely thankful that you care enough to tell other moms what you feel is best. Please, just know your best may not be another mom's best, and that is okay. Also, what is your beef with bananas? They are delish! 

If you have come to a point, where you see the problem we moms face all too regularly, and you feel it is time for us moms to support one another, and not tear each other down, please click on the photo below and sign the petition! Make a Mommitment to end Mom Wars. We are all in this together, and we are all doing our best.