Falling Short #UseYourWords March 2015

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

vast ~ summit ~ expectations ~ rough ~ treat

They were submitted by: http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com (Thank you for such great words!)

I always open the e-mail that contains my words for that month, with such excitement! I never know what words I will get or what they will inspire me to write. Each month is such an exciting journey. This month's words instantly inspired me, in two completely opposite directions. I am hoping I can merge the two into one, in a way that makes complete sense. 

As most of, if not all, you know, I am the mom of a wonderful little girl. Here on the blog, she is called Weewee. This will be changing. I will try to figure our her new name soon. It has been rough trying to decide what to call her. I was thinking about calling her Batman. Now, I am just not sure. Her Dad has called her Batman since she was growing in my womb. I tried explaining that she is a girl, but he didn't care. She has just always been Batman. I am worried this will confuse readers, and maybe make them feel she is a boy. So, I have not officially changed her blog name to Batman. 

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, I am the mom to the most amazing little girl. She is by far the best thing that has happened to me, among the vast array of great things that have happened to me. Some could argue that giving birth to her was my life's summit. It was definitely the highest point thus far. I am kinda hoping I go higher though. Like the day I watch her graduate from Grad School with her chosen degree, and starts down the road of making this world so much better. Possibly, her wedding day, when she marries the most amazing man I have ever met, other than her father. Maybe the day she gives birth to her own amazing child, and I get to be a grandma. 

We all have expectations of how our lives will be. Sometimes we are right. Other times we are wrong. Sometimes we find out our life far exceeded our expectations. Thus far, Weewee has so far exceeded any expectations I have ever had on what any child I would give birth to, would be like. She amazes me on a daily basis. She is so beautiful, inside and out. She is so young, but already shows some love and compassion. It has been a wonderful treat to watch her grow and learn. She is just the neatest little girl. I am so blessed, to be her Mama. 

I also had expectations of how I would excel at being a Mom. I have to laugh as I type this, because let me tell you, I have not even come close to meeting or exceeding those expectations. I fall so short. Most days, I find myself thinking about how Weewee deserves so much better. The beautiful thing is that she loves me anyway, and she excels despite my shortcomings. 

Some days, I feel really on the ball. I work with her on her vocabulary and make her laugh a billion times. I teach her new words and teach her silly things (like smelling her feet). I give her cuddles and kisses. We eat yummy foods and she gets her Elmo time. I stay mostly on top of the messes she makes. I feel proud. 

Some days, I can barely move. She eats the simple foods I am able to make for her. She has to come to me on the couch to play. We barely work on her vocabulary. I find myself telling her that I am sorry that I am not doing so well today, over and over. I fall very short on many levels, of being even remotely the mom I want to be. 

No matter if I am having a good day or a bad day, she treats me the same. She gives me kisses and hugs. She laughs at my silliness. She shows me tenderness and compassion. She looks at me, with this look that says 'You are MY Mama and I love YOU just the way you are'. Her dad constantly says, he feels that she can sense when I am not well, and she adjusts her behavior accordingly. She comes to me more, and requests me to join her less. She gives me more cuddles and kisses. She goes easier on me. I think he is right. I think she gets me.

As she grows, I hope that I too can get her. I hope I can understand her, just as she is. That I can help her to grow and learn, and to be the best person she can be. I hope I can inspire her to become the beautiful person she already is. 

I have fallen short on my expectations of what type of mom I would be, but I set my expectations of my future child very low. She is here, and she is proving my expectations to be very wrong. I had no idea I could create such an amazing individual. She truly blows my mind. I see such beauty in her, inside and out. She is full of love and intelligence and potential. 

I may not be able to do all the things I should do, but I will do my best. She is slowly teaching me to cut myself some slack. Whether I am on the ball fully or I am hitting foul ball after foul ball, this kid loves me. She is resilient and goes with the flow. She is already far cooler than I will ever be. 

I look around me, and see mothers of all types. I see dads of all types. I realize I am oftentimes not alone, in the hard on myself department. I see so many parents being so hard on themselves. I just want to hug everyone, and tell them that they are doing their best and they are good enough. At the end of the day, that is what I tell myself. No, I didn't get it perfect, but I did my best, and that was good enough. 

Who knows, maybe I have reached my life's highest point. Maybe giving birth to this amazing little girl, is the best thing that will ever happen to me. One thing is for sure, it is enough. She is enough. Loving her and growing with her is enough. That is one thing she is teaching me. Yes, I will always hope for more, but I will always be content in what I have. Yes, my life could always be better, but I will be happy in the life I have at this moment.

She is our miracle. She was supposed to be so sick. She possibly would not even survive. She did. She not only survived, but she has thrived. I am so completely grateful. She has taught me so much in the short time that I have been her Mama. She has taught me to love like I have never loved. Hope like I have never hoped. Appreciate like I have never appreciated. Accept myself like I have never accepted myself. Despite going through some of the hardest times of my life, and not being nearly as good as I want to be, she has made me better. 

Is that how it is for you, if you have children? Do they make you better, despite your shortcomings? Do you have a person in your life, that makes you better just by being in your life? I hope you are all just as blessed as I am.

As for her name... any suggestions? I do like Weewee, but certain people hate it. I do agree that as she ages, it won't be the best name. I would like to decide on a name that I can use now, and when she is older. Does Batman work? Some other names that have been considered are; Cookie, Munchkin, WGRB, Weebee... Do you like any of those? Any suggestions of your own? I would love input! 

Thank you for taking your time to read my post! Happy Second Month in a Row Friday the 13th! I hope your Friday is fabulous and your weekend is magnificent! Now do yourself a favor, go forth and enjoy all the other March 2015 Use Your Words posts!

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                           Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                        Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch                    Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                                Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                             Searching for Sanity

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com                                        Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                                          Climaxed

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                                Evil Joy Speaks            

#Mommitment

On Facebook recently, I saw the mention of a "Mommitment" on the page "Next Life, NO Kids". Being the nosy person that I am, I immediately checked it out. I just had to know what it was about. You guys! YOU GUYS! You guys! You NEED to look into it. Do yourselves a favor, and check out the blog post. I will even make it easy for you and link it.

Right Here:

#Mommitment Post on Next Life, NO Kids

I am sure you have seen Mom Wars. You may have even participated in a few. I think Mom Wars are just a common occurrence in our society, not that they should be. Everyone has their own opinions, and everyone feels their opinions are correct. This tends to lead to judgment and often times persecution. Why? Seriously, Why?

That is what we need to be asking ourselves. Why? What purpose does it serve to judge another parent? Do we want to be judged? Nope. We may not let judgments bother us, but obviously we would prefer they not even happen. 

Why is one parent better than another? Yes, let's be honest, there are crappy parents in this world. There are also great parents and mediocre parents. At the end of the day, they all love their children. (Yes, some parents may not love their children, but that is a topic for another day... I am referring to the parents that love their children, and are doing their best).

I do not know about you, but I endeavor to be the best parent I am able to be. I know that there will always be parents that are "better" parents than I am. I know there are parents that will be "worse" parents than I am. That is life. I am sure they all love their child(ren), just as much as I love mine. 

I was not able to breastfeed Weewee. I was blessed to be able to for two weeks. I was so happy. I was doing what I thought was best for her. Unfortunately, my doctor decided it best that I stop. It was very important for me to go back on my blood thinners, and they were not safe for breastfeeding. My milk would no longer be safe for Weewee.

You guys... it killed me. I was so upset. I was angry at my body for not being able to allow me to safely breastfeed Weewee for as long as I wanted. I cried about it. I was so dreadfully sad. I pumped as much as I possibly could, so she could have as much of my milk as possible. A few weeks later, I even looked into how long the medicine remained in my milk, so I could stop taking it and breastfeed again.

I spent months kicking my own butt, for not being able to live up to the expectations I had for myself. If I am being honest, I am still disappointed. In the end, my goal was to do what was best for Weewee. Yes, breastfeeding would have been wonderful, but it was even more important I stay alive and healthy. That was what was best for her.

During that time of my life, when it came out (through me venting and me asking questions about formula) that I was not going to be breastfeeding, so many moms chastised me. Told me how they would "never, ever put nasty formula in their babies tummies". I was told by multiple moms that I should do "whatever it took" to make certain she was breastfed. All this negativity hurt me to my soul. Made me feel worse than I already did.

These moms were my friends. Some, just random mom group moms. These moms were judging me. These moms were putting me on the defensive. These moms were making me question my worth as a mom. These moms were waging war on myself, and all other moms that chose formula (for whatever reason) for their child(ren).

Why? 

I am making a #Mommitment, so that I NEVER ever make another mom feel the way those moms made me feel. 

I have always been a person that is able to agree to disagree. I fully accept that people will often have opinions that differ from my opinions. That is perfectly fine. Yes, I will stand up for what I believe in, but I won't hate you for doing the same. I think far to often we are willing to stand up strong and loud for what we believe in, and oftentimes we get upset when others do the same. Mostly, because their opinion is different than our own.

If I am being honest, as much I would love for everyone to see things the way I do, that would make for a pretty boring world. Peaceful (most likely) but definitely boring. 

What really matters most in parenthood, is loving your child and wanting the very best for them. The reality is, we will all have different ideas of what is best for our own children, and that is okay. It should be okay. As long as our children are safe, it is okay.

Breastfeed. Don't breastfeed. Use cloth diapers. Use disposable diapers. Co-sleep. Don't co-sleep. Be a helicopter parent. Don't be a helicopter parent. Cry it out. Never cry it out. Etc etc etc

I promise, that for as long as I live, as long as you love your child and keep them safe, I will never not ever wage war on you. I will not judge you. I will not talk bad of you to other moms. I will not ridicule you for making different parenting choices than I make. 

I must add, that if I see you blatantly risking your child's life, I will rescue them, and make sure the proper authorities speak with you, and do whatever is necessary to secure your child's safety. It is my responsibility as a human being, to make sure everyone around me is safe, and to seek help for anyone in danger. I would hope you would do the same for my child.

We need to stop being so hateful and judgmental. We need to support one another. We need to help build each other up, and stop trying to tear others down. We need to make the world a better place. We need to form a world wide alliance of parents, and quit forming parenting factions that war with one another.

We need to treat others respectfully, just like we would like to be treated. We need to get over ourselves. None of us are perfect. None. Together, we can help each other to be the best parent we can be. Our kids are the future, and they learn from us. We need to make sure we are teaching them all the right things. Acceptance and compassion, those are among the right things.

Chad and I are currently attending baptism classes, for preparation of Weewee being baptized. In class today, we had to write out a list of attributes we want our child to possess. To envision the adult we want to raise our children to be. Then we were encouraged to be a parent that instills those qualities into our children. I want my daughter to grow up to be a mom that will love her children unconditionally and keep them safe. I want her to be a mom that will never war with other moms over a difference in parenting styles.

I really hope that you will join me and make a #Mommitment.

Don't like another parents parenting style? That is okay. There will be parents that don't like your parenting style. We are lucky to be able to choose our friends, and the people we include in our life. Rather than waging a war on another parent, peacefully move on and parent your child(ren). Let them parent their child(ren).

Spread love, not hate. Spread acceptance, not persecution and judgment. The Golden Rule really is a thing of beauty... Do unto others as you would wish them to do unto you. It really is that easy.

Be the parent, you would want your child to be one day, to your grandchildren. Be a parent that will raise your child to be the adult you hope for them to be. 

Please, take the time to read Julie's blog post (linked above), and if you would be so kind, sign the petition and make a #Mommitment. We owe it to ourselves, and we owe it to our kids.

I just want to add.... I am not a perfect parent. I know this. I am not even half the parent I want to be. I do love Weewee. I will always love her. I will always be the absolute best mom I am able to be. I will endeavor to raise her to be the best person she can be. I see in her limitless potential, and I will do my very best to help her see it in herself. So, please do not ever think that I think I am perfect, or a better parent than anyone else. I am far from it. 

Please feel free to click on the image below, and sign the petition! Together we can end Mom Wars!