Falling Short #UseYourWords March 2015

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

vast ~ summit ~ expectations ~ rough ~ treat

They were submitted by: http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com (Thank you for such great words!)

I always open the e-mail that contains my words for that month, with such excitement! I never know what words I will get or what they will inspire me to write. Each month is such an exciting journey. This month's words instantly inspired me, in two completely opposite directions. I am hoping I can merge the two into one, in a way that makes complete sense. 

As most of, if not all, you know, I am the mom of a wonderful little girl. Here on the blog, she is called Weewee. This will be changing. I will try to figure our her new name soon. It has been rough trying to decide what to call her. I was thinking about calling her Batman. Now, I am just not sure. Her Dad has called her Batman since she was growing in my womb. I tried explaining that she is a girl, but he didn't care. She has just always been Batman. I am worried this will confuse readers, and maybe make them feel she is a boy. So, I have not officially changed her blog name to Batman. 

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, I am the mom to the most amazing little girl. She is by far the best thing that has happened to me, among the vast array of great things that have happened to me. Some could argue that giving birth to her was my life's summit. It was definitely the highest point thus far. I am kinda hoping I go higher though. Like the day I watch her graduate from Grad School with her chosen degree, and starts down the road of making this world so much better. Possibly, her wedding day, when she marries the most amazing man I have ever met, other than her father. Maybe the day she gives birth to her own amazing child, and I get to be a grandma. 

We all have expectations of how our lives will be. Sometimes we are right. Other times we are wrong. Sometimes we find out our life far exceeded our expectations. Thus far, Weewee has so far exceeded any expectations I have ever had on what any child I would give birth to, would be like. She amazes me on a daily basis. She is so beautiful, inside and out. She is so young, but already shows some love and compassion. It has been a wonderful treat to watch her grow and learn. She is just the neatest little girl. I am so blessed, to be her Mama. 

I also had expectations of how I would excel at being a Mom. I have to laugh as I type this, because let me tell you, I have not even come close to meeting or exceeding those expectations. I fall so short. Most days, I find myself thinking about how Weewee deserves so much better. The beautiful thing is that she loves me anyway, and she excels despite my shortcomings. 

Some days, I feel really on the ball. I work with her on her vocabulary and make her laugh a billion times. I teach her new words and teach her silly things (like smelling her feet). I give her cuddles and kisses. We eat yummy foods and she gets her Elmo time. I stay mostly on top of the messes she makes. I feel proud. 

Some days, I can barely move. She eats the simple foods I am able to make for her. She has to come to me on the couch to play. We barely work on her vocabulary. I find myself telling her that I am sorry that I am not doing so well today, over and over. I fall very short on many levels, of being even remotely the mom I want to be. 

No matter if I am having a good day or a bad day, she treats me the same. She gives me kisses and hugs. She laughs at my silliness. She shows me tenderness and compassion. She looks at me, with this look that says 'You are MY Mama and I love YOU just the way you are'. Her dad constantly says, he feels that she can sense when I am not well, and she adjusts her behavior accordingly. She comes to me more, and requests me to join her less. She gives me more cuddles and kisses. She goes easier on me. I think he is right. I think she gets me.

As she grows, I hope that I too can get her. I hope I can understand her, just as she is. That I can help her to grow and learn, and to be the best person she can be. I hope I can inspire her to become the beautiful person she already is. 

I have fallen short on my expectations of what type of mom I would be, but I set my expectations of my future child very low. She is here, and she is proving my expectations to be very wrong. I had no idea I could create such an amazing individual. She truly blows my mind. I see such beauty in her, inside and out. She is full of love and intelligence and potential. 

I may not be able to do all the things I should do, but I will do my best. She is slowly teaching me to cut myself some slack. Whether I am on the ball fully or I am hitting foul ball after foul ball, this kid loves me. She is resilient and goes with the flow. She is already far cooler than I will ever be. 

I look around me, and see mothers of all types. I see dads of all types. I realize I am oftentimes not alone, in the hard on myself department. I see so many parents being so hard on themselves. I just want to hug everyone, and tell them that they are doing their best and they are good enough. At the end of the day, that is what I tell myself. No, I didn't get it perfect, but I did my best, and that was good enough. 

Who knows, maybe I have reached my life's highest point. Maybe giving birth to this amazing little girl, is the best thing that will ever happen to me. One thing is for sure, it is enough. She is enough. Loving her and growing with her is enough. That is one thing she is teaching me. Yes, I will always hope for more, but I will always be content in what I have. Yes, my life could always be better, but I will be happy in the life I have at this moment.

She is our miracle. She was supposed to be so sick. She possibly would not even survive. She did. She not only survived, but she has thrived. I am so completely grateful. She has taught me so much in the short time that I have been her Mama. She has taught me to love like I have never loved. Hope like I have never hoped. Appreciate like I have never appreciated. Accept myself like I have never accepted myself. Despite going through some of the hardest times of my life, and not being nearly as good as I want to be, she has made me better. 

Is that how it is for you, if you have children? Do they make you better, despite your shortcomings? Do you have a person in your life, that makes you better just by being in your life? I hope you are all just as blessed as I am.

As for her name... any suggestions? I do like Weewee, but certain people hate it. I do agree that as she ages, it won't be the best name. I would like to decide on a name that I can use now, and when she is older. Does Batman work? Some other names that have been considered are; Cookie, Munchkin, WGRB, Weebee... Do you like any of those? Any suggestions of your own? I would love input! 

Thank you for taking your time to read my post! Happy Second Month in a Row Friday the 13th! I hope your Friday is fabulous and your weekend is magnificent! Now do yourself a favor, go forth and enjoy all the other March 2015 Use Your Words posts!

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                           Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                        Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch                    Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                                Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                             Searching for Sanity

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com                                        Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                                          Climaxed

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                                Evil Joy Speaks