Friday, February 13, 2015

Kinship of Motherhood. #UseYourWords February 2015.

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:
enterprise ~ peculiar ~ kinship ~ empathy
Thank you for such great words! 

I posted recently about the #Mommitment petition. I believe strongly in it. I found it at a time, when "Mom Wars" were the principal focus of my thoughts. To be very honest, I do not fully understand Mom Wars. I think maybe because I feel such a peculiar kinship with my fellow moms. Whether I agree with their parenting styles or not. I would be insane to expect every mom to parent their child exactly as I do. I am not sure if it is because I am able to agree to disagree, or if it is because I firmly believe in treating  others as I wish to be treated, or if it is because I have a strong ability to extend empathy to others. 

Regardless of the reason I am able to accept different parenting styles from other parents, all that matters is that I have noticed a huge problem. Far too often I see other moms and dads being ripped to shreds, simply because they state opinions on parenting that differ from the opinions of others. We are all different. We all have children that are different and unique in their own fabulous ways. We all love our children. That is what matters most. We are all in this parental enterprise together. We need to work harder at getting along and extending empathy rather than judgment. 

I do notice these Mom Wars in real life, but I witness them most frequently on Social Media. In my humble opinion, it is a form of cyber bullying. It needs to end. Who cares if a mom gives her kid baby carrots with ranch or organic carrots with homemade organic creamy balsamic dip. The child is being fed. Yes, we should all do our best to make the best choices for our children, including proper nutrition. It isn't up to us to criticize another parent's choices about what foods to provide for their children. 

Do what you feel is best for your children, and allow the other parents to do what they feel is best for their children. We are all apart of the amazing parental enterprise. We are all doing the best we can. We are all loving our children and providing for our children, to the best of our abilities. Some of us struggle more with more obstacles, and others have it easier with far fewer obstacles. That should not matter. We should all build each other up. Encourage one another. Help each other. Empathize. 

I have heard the "it takes a village" mantra for years. Back when I was a naive adult, that did not have children to raise, I remember thinking it was ridiculous. I remember thinking when I had children, I would do it all on my own. Raise them however I want. Instill in them the best attributes and bring them up to be amazing members of society. I remember thinking I would not need help. Did I mention I was naive? I totally understand it now. I get it. I wish I had a village to help me with Weewee. On days when I am sick and she is full of energy, a helping hand would be awesome. On days when I have a million things to do, and she wants to play and play and play some more, a helping hand would be awesome. Yes, I totally get it. 

We need to be each other's village. We need to be a positive impact not just on ourselves and our children, but on the parents and children around us. On those days I am sick, the last thing I need is another parent criticizing me because I am not able to be the best parent Weewee deserves that day. Trust me, being my own worst critic (as we all often are), I am already making myself feel horrible enough. What I do need is another parent to remind me I am doing my best, and maybe offer to be a member of my village. 

We need to stop destroying our villages with senseless Mom Wars. If you do not like another parent's parenting style, that is fine. Either agree to disagree, or join a different village than the one they belong to. We all have the ability to build our own village and choose who to include in our village. We do not have to include everyone in our village, just those that will help build the village we want for our families. 

Next time you witness a Mom War, please do not pour gas on it. Pour some water on it, or possibly walk away all together. The next time you disagree with another parent, rather than waging war or setting the stage for a war, agree to disagree or walk away or politely and respectfully speak your opinion. We don't want to be disrespected, and we should not disrespect others. Especially not other parents. We all know just how hard parenting is. The rewards are amazing, but we definitely earn them. 

Parenting can be scary. There is no need to make it scarier for other parents. 

So, please consider making a #Mommitment to help stop these Mom Wars that are running rampant over social media these days. Let's all work to be the best parents we can be, and remind other parents they are doing the best they can be. Let's put out into this parenting enterprise, what we would like to receive from it. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I do not mean to force my beliefs on anyone. I just wish we could all get along- live and let live. It really isn't that difficult. 

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:                                                         Baking In A Tornado                                                    Spatulas on Parade                                        Stacy Sews and Schools                                                                               The Momisodes                                                                    Battered Hope                                    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy                        Confessions of a part-time working mom                                                  Someone Else’s Genius                                                           Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                                                      Southern Belle Charm                                                       Juicebox Confession   

Happy Friday the 13th!! I hope you have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend!!

If you feel so inclined, please visit my Facebook page and give it a like. (The Bergham's Facebook Page) I have some upcoming giveaways planned, the first of which will be a Starbucks giveaway!! I would like as many people as possible to be able to get involved! So, please spread the word to your friends! Thank you! 

If you want to join the #Mommitment and take a stand against Mom Wars, please feel free to click the picture below and sign the petition!

Next Life, NO Kids


  1. That is a kick-ass post, Jules, congratulations! Straight from the heart - into the heart of a fellow mom.

    I saw this Video on FB, breastfeeding, full time working, organic, all kinds of mommy groups standing up for what they believe in... And when a stroller runs free, they all drop the attitude and help to save the baby ♥ Good stuff!

    I will think hard about what words to use (there's a pun, ha!) to make a #Mommitment.

    Happy Friday 13th and V-Day!

  2. I commented on your last post about the bananas as well. I had no idea this cyber bullying was going on with moms. You are right to take a stand

  3. Without a doubt we need to stop criticizing each other. Do we want to teach our children bullying or do we want to teach them that it's OK to discuss differences? I know what my answer is. Same as yours.

  4. AMEN and AMEN and AMEN!!! I couldn't agree more with this post!!
    As women and mothers we should support each other and stop tearing one another down!
    I LOVE this post!!!!!

  5. YES! OMG A million times YES! I can't STAND the whole "My way is better than yours" mentality. Okay, so you parent different. Awesome. Do your thang. I love, love, LOVE this!

  6. Even though my daughter is grown, I've seen this with her choices. I'm in.

  7. Great post Jules! It is always better to lift others up rather than try to tear them down.

  8. Wonderfully said!! Beautiful post.

  9. I have so many moms on my facebook feed right now that give into this and when I've mentioned that it is a bit like bullying, it turns into their need to spread "info" so that moms can make an informed choice. Ok, sure. When you share info and then berate everyone who asks a question like it's beneath you, that's not spreading info and probably does the exact opposite! So, yes, I totally agree with you here! Great post. (sorry I'm late on this. I was getting my use your words ready for tomorrow and thought I'd look back at everyone's posts from last month since this challenge is a first for me)



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