Hearts Heal #PoetryCollaboration

Welcome to February's Poetry Collaboration. Each month a group of us bloggers get together, pick a theme, and submit poetry based on that theme. This month we chose the theme hearts. Considering I think of love and hearts and romance and friendship and cupid; whenever I think of February, hearts seemed like an amazing theme to me.

Now, I warn you now, I am going to get a bit verbose in this post. It is because I need to explain about the "poem" I am sharing. I am not even sure if it really is a poem. I had originally planned on writing a poem about this guy I once gave my heart to, and maybe one day, I will still share that. Something happened, as I was laying in bed, it was after midnight, I had woken up to use the bathroom, and curled back up in bed two nights ago. I was snuggled with my dad's Sherpa lined jean jacket, as I have been since the night I first took it from his house. We had arrived in Wyoming to handle his funeral and his final affairs. I walked into his house, and walked into my old bedroom, looked in my closet and saw THE jacket. The jacket I had loved for so many years, that he had told me "If I was a good girl, he might just give it to me one day". In the meantime, he let me wear it all the time, and I really loved it so very much. 

So, as I was laying in bed, cuddling my dad's coat, I started thinking about the poem I was going to be writing for today. I had the basic outline. I knew how it would begin and end, and I knew I would create a few rhymes in the middle to tie it together. My thoughts then wandered to thoughts of my dad, and I started crying, and then the "poem" I have decided to share today came pouring out of my heart. It is weird. When I write my poetry, I do often write with my heart, but my brain is very much involved. I have to make just the right rhymes and I have to convey just the right images. However, this "poem" did not involve my brain. It is just my heart. So, I figured that whether it is a poem or not, it definitely fits the theme of hearts. 

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Hearts Heal

My tears are streaming down my face, onto your coat.

It reminds me of all the times in my life you held me, and I cried, and my tears wet your t-shirts.

Sometimes my tears were because of you. Sometimes they were because of life. Sometimes they were because of boo-boos. 

I do remember that you gave the BEST hugs, and your boo-boo kisses were magical.

You came from a different time. You were forty years older than me, and the gap between our generations was quite vast.

I never thought much of it as a kid. I just knew you were old.

It is funny that I thought you were old, because as I stood beside you laying on the hospital gurney, your heart no longer beating, all I could think of was how young you were, and how you had so many years left, and that cancer took you far too soon.

It is weird how time changes perspectives. It is funny how death changes perspectives.

For many years, I would tell people how much I hated the way you raised me.

How I hated that you never spared the rod. How you never let me do anything fun.

How I hated how you held me back. How I hated how you were so overprotective.

I hated that your discipline was so excessive. I hated the bruises. I hated having to cut my own switches. I hated not being allowed to go to birthday parties for friends. I hated, I hated, I hated.

Yet, despite all that, I always told everyone that I loved you. That you were my dad, and I loved you wholeheartedly.

For so many years, I held onto these things that felt so huge, and I let them weigh me down. I let them help form the person I was becoming. I let them keep a wedge between us, that never seemed to really go away, and never let us be as close as we could have been.

When I was eighteen, I called you, and I told you that I forgive you for all the bad things you had ever done to me.
My therapist told me that I needed to forgive, so that I could move on. She said I would probably never forget, but that I could forgive. I could choose to release the control these weights had on me, weighing me down and molding me.

So, I called you, and I forgave you. You were confused, and I think a bit hurt, but you heard me out. 

You told me you were sorry I felt that way, but you only did what was best for me.

Forgiving you was good for me. I am glad I did it, because it enabled me to move beyond a lot of these self-imposed issues I had made for myself. It also helped me to look forward far more, than I was looking back towards the past.

Despite forgiving you, I still remembered things, and at times they would come up in conversations with people. I still felt pain over how I was hurt as a child.

Now, as I cling to your coat, and my tears are making it wet against my cheek, I realize that I am not crying for what was, but for what could have been.

I wish I knew then, what I know now, but I think that is something we can all say.

Since you left this Earth, my view of you has changed.

My view of the past has changed.

My view of my actions have changed.

My view of your actions have changed.

I spent a lifetime focusing on all the wrong things, and I did not even know it.

When you died, when I got that call my heart broke so completely.

My Daddy was gone.

My mind flooded with memories.

It took me a day to realize something so profound, that I wish I had realized long ago.

The memories that flooded my mind, weren't the memories I spent all those years dwelling on.

They were memories, that I had filed away, because I was too focused on remembering the things that had upset me. 

I had forgotten all the good, and you know what? There was so much GOOD.

I realize now that you were the best dad you were able to be.

You did the best you knew how to do.

You were a country boy, from a farm in North Carolina, and you had a little girl to care for all on your own.

That is exactly what you did. You cared for me.

You fed me. You clothed me. You made sure I got an education, a luxury you didn't get the benefit of.

You taught me right from wrong. You taught me to respect my elders. You taught me the importance of helping those in need, even if you did not have much yourself. You taught me to be strong. You taught me to speak my mind. You taught me to stand up for what I believe in. You taught me to volunteer every chance I get. You taught me that mistakes happen, and to learn from them. You taught me to be kind to everyone, no matter who they are, and that if they aren't kind back, to be even kinder to them. You taught me the importance of respecting my parents. You taught me the importance of music. You taught me to believe in myself, even if nobody else does. You taught me to stand up for what is right, no matter what I may lose in the process. You taught me how to fish. You taught me not to judge people until I get to know them, and even then to understand it's only my opinion which isn't even worth a penny. You taught me what great food was. To this day, your cooking is my favorite, and I regret having gone so long without eating one of your delicious meals. You taught me so very, very much. I am forever grateful.

You also taught me that things were way different in the 30's and 40's, than they were in the 80's and 90's. I realize now, that your means of discipline weren't you being abusive. It was you doing what you grew up knowing as right. Now, that I am thirty-six, I can confidently say, that if you knew how much your discipline hurt me emotionally, you never would have done it. I wish I had talked to you.

I wish I had talked to you about so many things. Not just things from when I was a child, but things from every year of my life. I wish I had gotten rid of the wedge that I let keep you at a distance, and I wish I had let you in so much more. You deserved that. I deserved that. I did us both a disservice, and unfortunately I did not realize it, until it was too late.

I know hearts heal. I know mine will heal. I just know it will take time. 

I can honestly say, that now that you are gone, I am so much wiser. Too little, too late.

I have been bombarded with all these amazing memories, that were just sitting in the recesses of my mind getting dusty. I was so focused on all the wrong things, and I never got to enjoy the good things.

I miss you. I miss you so much. Gigi misses you. I am going to continue to tell her all these dusty memories, so that she can get to know you better. She deserves that.

You deserve to be remembered.

I am so sorry that I realized all of these things too late.

I am so sorry I was not a better daughter.

I am so sorry I was not a better communicator.

In my defense, I am pretty sure I got that from you.

I found all the cards and letters I sent you over the years, and I saw all the little notes to me you wrote on them. You must have known I would see them one day. I wish you had said those things to me. Many of them, I had no idea. 

I honestly thought you thought I was a terrible daughter, but to see you write that you were so thankful to be my dad and you were so proud of me, really felt wonderful. 

Let's make a deal, when I get to Heaven, let's communicate way better there, than we did on Earth.

I really wish you had told me things, Dad.

I know why you didn't. It is the same reason, I have not really told you the depth of how sick I am.

I wanted to protect you.

I just need you to know, if I had known just how badly sick you were, I would have come to you.

Chad said that is exactly why you never told me, and I am guessing he is right.

I honestly thought you were invincible and would outlive me.

You are the strongest person I have ever known. How you kicked cancer's butt so many times, I will never understand.

I am so sorry that it finally won.

I am so sorry it happened before I figured out that the good things are the important things.

I am so sorry I spent so much time focused on the bad things.

I promise that I will make sure Gigi knows to focus on the good.

She's stubborn like her Papa Charlie. So, as you can imagine, I have my hands full.

My heart hurts so badly, but it will heal. Hearts heal. That is what they do.

I love you.

Always.

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I genuinely felt so badly, that my contribution to this poetry collaboration, was not much of a poem, so I decided to do one of my favorite types of poems, just to give this post a bit more of a poetic feel.

Hearts

Hand holding

Eye contact
Attraction growing
Racing heartbeats
Tender caresses
Start of a happily ever after

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So, as I warned, my main content really isn't a poem, but it is just what spilled out of my heart, and so it is what I decided to share. My dad and I always had a difficult relationship. He was a single dad in his forties and fifties, raising a stubborn girl. I was a hard kid to raise. I was a good kid, but I definitely had issues processing emotions, and it often got bottled up into these weights I carried on my shoulders. I honestly think, if I had communicated with my dad better, we would have ended up having an even better relationship.

He was such a good man. He taught me so much about the importance of being a good person, doing good deeds, and helping others. I am so grateful for that. These days, some of the biggest joys in my life are volunteering. Now, that I have Gigi to volunteer with me, it is even better. I can only hope my dad enjoyed volunteering with me, as much as I enjoy volunteering with Gigi. 

One undeniable truth about my dad, is that he was always there for me. For many years, he had a 800 number, connected to a land line in his home, and I could always call him anytime day or night. He wanted me to always be able to reach him, and if I were out and about, (pre-cell phone days), all I had to do was find a payphone and I could call him right up. I have been blessed with many wonderful people in my life, but my dad was definitely one of the most dependable people in my life.

Before he died, my Dad and I had a conversation, and he told me that he loved Chad. I was pretty amazed by this, because in all the years I have been with Chad, my dad had never really given him the nod of approval, and my dad was notorious for hating any guy I ever liked. He told me to thank Chad for always taking care of Gigi and I, and for helping to give him Gigi. My dad loved Gigi so much, and I was grateful for that. He and Gigi would talk on the phone often, and he kept her laughing. I will always regret they never met in person, and that I have no pictures of them together. 

My Dad did not tell me that he had Pancreatic cancer. He simply told me his cancer was back, and he would be fighting it again. He had battled cancer and won so many times, I honestly thought he would win again. He purposely did not tell me how sick he was, because I think he knew that I would have gone to him. I would have needed to bring Gigi with me, and I honestly do not think he wanted me or Gigi to see him so sick. I found out he died of Pancreatic Cancer, when I received his death certificate in the mail. 

I just really want to tell you guys something... Life is full of good things and bad things. It is full of ups and downs. Please, don't ever get so focused on the bad things, that you forget the good things. Let yourself enjoy and remember the good things. Those are the important things. Also, communicate openly with the people you love. Let them know how you feel. Let them tell you. Do not bottle up hurt. Do not let it weigh you down. Talk about it. 

I am so sorry that my poetry post was not poetic. I am also sorry it was such a sad piece. Lucky for you guys, you can now go check out the rest of this month's poetry posts, and enjoy some awesome poetry!! 

Links to February's Hearts Poetry Round-Up:

Karen of Baking In A Tornado

Hearts and Flowers

Dawn of Cognitive Script

My Heart My Gift

Lydia of Cluttered Genius

6 Hearts

Diane of On the Border

My Hearts

Mad Mad World #PoetryCollaboration

Welcome to March's Poetry Collaboration!! If you have been a follower of my blog, you know that each month, a group of us bloggers choose a theme, and then write poetry based on the theme. It can be any type of poem, and there are no rules. This month, our chosen theme of March Madness. Not necessarily the basketball March Madness, just madness in general.

After you check out my contribution, make sure you check out the poetry all my friends have created. I think it would be amazing, if you feel inspired, to read any poetry you could may write based on the March Madness theme.

Poem 1 (Mad Mad World):

All around me the world is mad.
People are dying.
People are going hungry.
Politicians are lying.
Schools are unsafe.
Drugs are taking lives daily.
It's a mad, mad world.
Hatred is more aparent daily.
Fear is filling hearts.
Danger lurks everywhere.
Criminals are seemingly fearless.
Some days it is hard to see the good.
Some days I forget that goodness is everywhere.
Some days, I have to remind myself to focus.
I have to seek the silver linings.
I have to find the good news.
I have to seek it out.
Why do we do this? 
Why do we broadcast the negatives,
and leave the good unspoken?
Why do we aid the spread of madness?
Why do we fuel the fire of hatred?
It needs to stop. 
We need to end the madness.
We need to regain control.
We need to smother out hatred with love.
We cannot let hate win.
We cannot let the madness spread.
Love must win.
We must work together, and end the madness.
We need to stop the spread of madness.
We need to plant seeds of happiness.
Good must triumph over bad.
We need to make this world better.
It's a mad, mad world.
We need to make it a glad, glad world.

Poem 2 (Madness):

Mismanaged rage.
Anger and resentment.
Disputes and misunderstandings.
Nasty attitudes.
Egos out of control.
Sadness and hurt feelings.
Stress and anxiety.

Poem 3 (Madly, Deeply):

My love for you is true and pure.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you is strong and fierce.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you fuels my soul's fire.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you unending.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you is unconditional.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you is emotional.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you is electrifying.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.
My love for you is blisfully beautiful.
I love you madly.
I love you deeply.

So, there are my contributions to this month's March Madness Poetry Collaboration! I hope you enjoyed them! Now, go check out what poetry my fellow bloggers created for your enjoyment!! I will meet you there!!

Karen of Baking In A Tornado

March Madness

Dawn of Cognitive Script

Mad As A Hatter: March Madness

Frosty Toes #PoetryCollaboration

Welcome to February's Poetry Collaboration!! Each month, bloggers choose a theme, and then create poetry based on the theme. I try to join in as often as possible. This month's chosen theme is Frosty! Is it frosty where you are?! I have been seeing lot of pictures of frosty weather posted on Facebook this Winter. I am grateful to say, we don't have snow where I live. However, I can definitely put myself into a Frosty mood, at least for the sake of poetry.

So, I hope you enjoy my addition to this Frosty Poetry Round-up!!

Poem 1: Frosty

Freezing cold temperatures. Red nose and frosty toes. Outside world covered in snow. Scarves, mittens, hats, and coats. Toasting marshmallows in the fireplace. Young kids sledding down the hill.


Poem 2: Frosty Toes

Flames crackling in the fireplace.
The clock ticking away the passing minutes.
Your words leaving me feeling out of place.
I miss you when you are gone.
I just never sleep as well without you.
I hate when you leave before dawn.
You knocking on my door is music to my ears.
I love when you ask to come over.
I hope you continue this for many years.
Your hatred for blankets, leaves me with frosty toes.
I could just wear socks, but then my skin would miss you.
I definitely prefer us to both be without clothes.
Maybe one day we can have more.
Maybe one day our story can include longer chapters.
Maybe one day you won't need to knock on the door.

So, there you have my contribution! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to see what poetry my friends have written for you to enjoy! I will see you there!


Karen of Baking in a Tornado
A Valentine for Frosty

Dawn of Cognitive Script
Her Frosty Heart

Lydia of Cluttered Genius
Feelin’ Frosty

Rebirth of Jules #PoetryCollaboration

Hello! Welcome to January's Poetry Collaboration!! Every month, a group of bloggers turn into poets (or in some cases let their poetic sides shine), and write poems based on a chosen theme. This month's theme is Rebirth. It seems like such a fitting theme, for the beginning of a new year.

I hope you enjoy what I have prepared for you, and don't forget to check out the rest of this month's poetry. The links to those poems will be at the bottom of my post.

Poem 1 (Rebirth):

Rosy skies at dawn, singling a new day beginning.
Endless possibilities.
Bringing the present into the future.
Initiating changes and advancements.
Rising to your potential.
Taking advantage of presented opportunities.
Hoping for a better tomorrow, with the changes made today.

Poem 2 (Your Story):

A new year lends to new opportunities and endless possibilities.
It is what you make of it.
Sometimes fate takes over, and guides your path.
Yet, so much is left up to you to shape, with your choices.
Sometimes those choices lead to good things,
and other times not so good things.
Lessons learned, experiences had, life lived.
Every new year, gives you the opportunity to grow.
To change and become better.
To be the person you have always wanted to be, 
or at least more like that person.
Each year a ring on your life's tree,
telling part of your story.
It is up to you to write your story.
Make it the epic adventure you want it to be.
Or maybe you would rather a suspenseful tale.
Or possibly you are more of a romance lover.
Either way, it is your year, your life, your story.
Write it. Create it. Live it.
Take advantage of the new year's rebirth of you.
Roll with the punches fate deals out,
and make your story worth telling.

Poem 3 (Rebirth of Jules):

It is a new year, a new chapter to my story.
I have a blank chapter in front of me, 
and a fresh ink pen to add to my story.
It is up to me to write the best chapter possible.
I write it with my choices I make.
I write it with the opportunities I seize.
I write it with the risks I take.
I write it with the mistakes I make.
I write it with the lessons I learn.
I write it with the adventures I enjoy.
I write it with the deed I do.
I write it with the words I speak.
I write it with my soul and heart.
It is my chapter, and only I can write it.
Each year, I am gifted a new chapter.
The last chapter no longer matters.
The past is done. 
The future is now.
It is mine to write.
It is mine to live.
Every new year brings my rebirth.
My chance to be a better me.
My chance to have a better story.
It is my book, and I am the author.

Here are the links to the other poems, featuring the January theme of Rebirth. I will meet you there, right after I refill my coffee cup!!

Karen of Baking In A Tornado
Be True

Dawn from Cognitive Script
Nine R’s

La Fin #PoetryCollaboration

Welcome to December's Poetry Collaboration. This month's theme is endings. Considering this is the last month of 2017, I feel that this theme is quite appropriate. I hope you enjoy the poems my fellow bloggers and I, have created for you all to enjoy!

Poem 1: La Fin

Last day together.
Almost to much pain to bear.

Finally realizing it is over.
Internally praying you change your mind.
Never ready for this goodbye.

Poem 2: Endings

Everyone must come to an end, they say.
Nobody is every truly prepared for the end.
Despair and sadness are usually felt.
Incredible strength can come from it.
Next doors open can be better than previous.
Growth and healing are welcomed.
Strengthened bonds can grow.

Poem 3: Endings part deux

Emotions running wild.
Never-ending stream of tears.
Doubts filling your brain.
Inescapable worries and fears.
Nagging feelings of failure.
Getting weighed down by the feeling of loss.
Sadness seeping into your soul.

Poem 4: Untitled

We both knew this day would come.
We had talked about it often.
I am not sure either of us believed it would finally happen.
I am not sure either of us are truly prepared.
I am torn between wanting to accept the inevitable fate,
or try to prolong it a bit more.
I feel like either way, I am going to hurt.
I love you with a love so deep, I cannot find its end.
I just know that we aren't good for one another.

I never could quite understand this about us,
and that is probably why I have fought our end so long.
One one hand, we are perfect for one another.
Our love is deep and real.
Our passion is undeniable.
Our connection and bond is profoundly strong.
We are a match made in Heaven.
On the other hand, we are terrible for one another.
I have hurt you deeply, without even meaning to.
You have hurt me so deeply, I thought I would die.
Even the simplest of discussions, between us,
can turn into the most heated argument.
We can rarely agree on anything.
Your wants are the exact opposite of mine.

I would die for you, without even a moments thought.
In my heart, I know you would do the same for me.
Nobody else will ever make me feel the way you do.
Nobody else will ever bring me to the heights of passion,
you've delivered me to.
Nobody will ever love you as deeply as I do.
Nobody will ever be able to replace you for me.
I am confident you will never find a replacement for me.

Despite the good,
despite the bad,
despite the pleasure,
despite the pain,
despite it all.
The day has come,
for us to say goodbye,
and for our story to end.
There will be no more us.
There will be no more dates.
There will be no more passion.
There will be no more arguments.
There will be no more debates.
There will simply be no more.
Our ending has come.
Our fate has been sealed.
It is over.
Farewell.
Good bye.

So, there you have it. My contribution to this month's poetry collaboration!! Be sure to check out what all the other bloggers created for your enjoyment!! 

Karen of Baking In A Tornado

From the End to the Beginning

Dawn of Cognitive Script

The Meaning of the End

Trapped in Love's Madness #SecretSubjectSwap

Welcome to December's Secret Subject Swap. This week ten brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

My “Secret Subject” is: "You must be mad, coming here" Where are you and what is going on.  Why DID you come back?

It was submitted by:  http://www.southernbellecharm.com (Minette, I will simply say... I love you!!)

I have been doing these Secret Subject Swaps for a few years now, and I have had some interesting subjects. I have had some very challenging subjects, and some that the words just flowed nearly effortlessly. I have had some that made me dig deep, and some that I was able to stay light and fun with. I can honestly say, that was the hardest one I have ever received. I have read it so many times, and I am still at a total loss. The one thing that has gone through my head, is the Alice in Wonderland "We're All Mad Here" quote. So, imagine my surprise, when I decided to google this subject quote, and Alice in Wonderland came up.

So, now I will share a little secret with y'all. If you have followed my blog, and paid attention to my Facebook page, or know me... You have probably caught on, that the vast majority of kid movies that I have watched, I watched since being an adult. Many I watched since turning fifteen, but most all were since turning twenty. Kid movies just weren't a huge part of my childhood. So, I am in my thirties, and still watching certain classics for the first time. Well, I have not watched Alice in Wonderland yet. I do know the general story, though not the entire thing. I have heard some of the more famous lines. I do know most of the characters. 

I almost watched it a few years ago, when I watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time, but never got around to it. Oddly, I know Gigi has watched it, because she watched it with Chad a few months back. She seemed to really enjoy it. So, I guess I should sit down, and watch it with her. I wonder if I had already watched it, I would have struggled less with this subject. Okay, enough rambling, and here we go...

Trapped Again

I must be fully mad, coming back to you.

You hurt me enough the first time.

Then you hurt me even more the second time.

I did not think I would recover from that heartache,

but somehow I did.

I rose from the ashes of heartbreak, like a Phoenix.

I should know better.

I should be stronger.

Yet, here I am.

Back in your home, back in your arms.

I am not sure what the pull is you have on me,

but whatever it is, it is strong.

Stronger than my sanity.

Stronger than my willpower.

I love you so deeply, so madly.

I almost think I would rather be miserable with you,

than happy without you.

I am not sure I can ever truly be happy without you.

In some ways, you are happiness.

Maybe that is why you trap me so easily.

Maybe that is why I always come back to you.

Back to this madness that is us.

Back to this insanity that is you.

You make me happy.

You make me complete.

You give me such pleasure.

You give me such joy.

You make me laugh.

You make me crazy.

You and your love are forces to be reckoned with.

Maybe we should be apart.

Maybe we are completely wrong together.

Maybe I just don't care.

I love you.

I love your sense of humor.

I love your intelligence.

I love your heart of gold.

I love your fearlessness.

I love your taste in music.

I love your style.

I love your passion.

I love you so much, that I cannot even hold onto my anger.

I know it is just a matter of time, before you get restless.

I know it is just a matter of time, before you get tired of playing house.

I know it is just a matter of time, before you realize you don't want to settle down.

Then you will be gone again, and my heart will again be broken.

I know what is to come, and yet still I came back to you.

I must be completely mad, a lunatic for sure.

I never should have come back through your door.

I know this wasn't quite a direct approach to the subject, but it is what my brain did with it. I hope you enjoyed it! Do not forget to check out what subjects everyone else received, and how the wrote about them! I will meet you there, as soon as I get another cup of coffee. I am just now finishing this, less than an hour before it goes live for y'all to read, so trust me, I will be drinking TONS of coffee today!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

Cognitive Script

The Blogging 911

The Lieber Family Blog

Southern Belle Charm

Bookworm in the Kitchen

Never Ever Give Up Hope

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom

Climaxed

Joys of Fall #PoetryCollaboration

I hope you are sitting. This post is a poetry collaboration. Remember that? How my fellow bloggers and I, pick a theme, then write poems based on that theme, and share them on the same day?! Yes! That! Well, this is one of those!! I have not done one in a while, but here we are.... I am doing one. I apologize in advance for my horrible poetry.

This month, we chose we the appropriate theme of Joys of Fall. 

Poem: Joys of Fall

Jogging through the fall leaves.
Overjoyed at the cooler temperatures.
Yellow, orange, red, and brown painting the landscape.
Sounds of laughter, as we play in the piles of leaves.

Owls and scarecrows covering our windows.
Family gatherings around the bonfires.

Finally getting to enjoy the beautiful smell that is the Fall air.
All your family and friends gathering to give thanks.
Licking sticky traces of s'mores from your fingers.
Laying under blankets, as we sip cocoa and watch movies.

So, there you go. What about you?! What are some of the joys of Fall for you?! 

Do not forget to check out the awesome poems written by my friends, about the Joys of Fall!! Find them here: 

Karen of Baking In A Tornado

The Joys of Fall

Dawn of Cognitive Script

Indian Summer Jubilation

Lydia of Cluttered Genius

The Joy of Fall

Diane of On the Border

Princess, Me and Leaves

Return to Me Jan 2017 #UseYourWords

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked four to six words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That is the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who is participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

discombobulated ~ family ~ return ~ without ~ race

They were submitted by: http://Bakinginatornado.com (Thanks, Karen, for the words!! I will do them justice in my Stable Layne post, promise!!)

So, for the past few months, I have been writing a story for you all, one post at a time, using my Use Your Words words. I have bad news and good news. I am a firm believer in family first, especially my Gigi. I have actually started a Use Your Words post, with it being an installment of the Stable Layne series. Unfortunately, Gigi is sick today. Her ear is bugging her badly. So badly, I may be taking her to the emergency room, after I schedule this to post tomorrow morning. So, I am not going to be able to post my Stable Layne post.

Without being able to read it through several times, then read all the posts through, to make sure it makes sense, and isn't a discombobulating mess of words, I just do not feel comfortable posting it. So, rather than race to finish it in time, and put out a post I am not proud of, I have decided to post a different post. I will return to my already in progress post, as soon as things calm down with Gigi's ear, and post my Stable Layne post (using these words) at a later time. Once I do that, I will update this post with a link to it.

So, I was faced with trying to decide how to quickly use my words. Honestly, when I first read my words, the Stable Layne post began to form in my head, so I knew from moment one, that was how I was going to use them. I really did not have a plan B. One of my absolutely most comfortable forms of writing, is poetry. So, I decided to go that route with my words. I do apologize. I know I already gave you all poetry on Wednesday. I hope you don't mind, but poetry is definitely my comfort zone. 

Poem (Return to Me):

I am lying here, unable to stop my thoughts from running this race.

They are going a million miles a minutes.

I am thinking of you. I am thinking of family. I am thinking of us.

My thoughts have me discombobulated and restless.

All I really want is you to be here with me.

Yet I am alone, without you.

I do not know if you will ever return to my side.

I do not know if you are gone forever.

I do not know if we are truly over.

I wish you would tell me. 

I wish you would let me know your intentions.

I know you do not approve of my choices.

I can respect that you feel I should have chosen differently.

I had to do what was best for myself. I had to do what I thought was best for us.

I hope one day you can accept that, and come back into my life.

The way it was before, not the way it is now.

I want more. So much more.

I want us to be the old us.

Not this new us, a mere shadow of the old us.

I miss you. 

I miss you so much.

Please, please, return to me.

Okay. There you have it. I hope it will suffice, until I get my Stable Layne posted!! We have an appointment for 2 pm, with Gigi's doctor, but since it seems to be getting worse, we will be trying to get her in first thing, with either her doctor, or the ENT specialist who put her tubes in. As some of you may know, if you have followed me on my Facebook page and blog for a while, Gigi has struggled with ear issues. Getting tubes put in, December 2015 has really helped. Unfortunately, something is obviously wrong now. So, I am hoping it can get fixed immediately. Seeing your baby sick, is never cool. 

I am sorry to have disappointed y'all!! I will make it up to you!!

Links to this month's other “Use Your Words” posts:

Baking In A Tornado               

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy       

Spatulas on Parade             

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver      

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                

On the Border                  

Confessions of a part time working mom   

Climaxed                                    

Southern Belle Charm