Friday, October 3, 2014

My Rant. October 2014 Secret Subject Swap

It's that time again! Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts for all the world to read! 

My “Secret Subject” is:
Is 2014 anything like you pictured it would be 20 years ago?
It was submitted by:  
(Thank you for this fabulous subject, Sarah!! Thank you for assigning this subject to me, Karen!! Perfect timing eh?!)

Twenty years ago, I was eleven, and the thought of 2014 was mind blowing. It was 1994, and to be honest, many things were mind blowing to me. I lived a very sheltered life in many ways. I never really went to a real mall or rode an escalator until I was nearly 14. I did not go to the movies until I was almost 13. I experienced a lot during my childhood, and yet there was a lot I never experienced.

If you had asked me in 1994, what I thought 2014 would be like, I definitely think I would have said there would be flying cars and robots everywhere. I would have probably said that people would make trips to the moon, like as if they were simply going to the grocery store. I definitely would have described 2014 as being extremely high tech. I would have been correct... sort of.

We definitely live in a high tech world. I think it is high tech in ways I never would have imagined. If you had told me that we would all (for the most part everyone) walk around with mobile phones and use social media sites, I don't know that I would have believed you. I never would have imagined myself to be somebody that would use a website to share details of my life and pictures with friends. The thought definitely would have seemed extremely silly to eleven year old me. In some ways, I think it is silly to thirty-one year old me, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense.

If you had told me in 1994, that we would mostly use our mobile phones as anything but phones, I would have laughed. I would have asked what is the point of that? I am living it, and I find myself asking that. Why do we use our phones as anything but a phone? How many people do you know that won't answer when you call them, but immediately text you back? I think the vast majority of people choose texting for Facebook communication over actual talking.

I am on the fence about whether or not it is a good thing or a bad. I think it is a good thing, that can definitely be bad. I love to text. It is simple and easy. I can text and care for Weewee, much easier than I can speak on the phone and care for Weewee. Weewee is a very vocal fifteen month old! (YES! Can you believe it! It is the 28th of September as I am writing this, and she turned 15 months old yesterday! It is crazy!) 

I do think a lot of the social aspect of communication is lost in texting and social media. For one thing, it is very easy to misinterpret the mood/emotions behind written word. Far too often people are too quick to anger over things that are said, simply because they read into them emotions that weren't there. Also, sarcasm is often lost in text. That is sad, because I am sarcastic quite often. 

Another thing that gets lost in the mix, is individual communication. We so often announce things to the whole, and sometimes forget the individuals. This happens to me far more often than I would like. I have found out far too much personal information through public Facebook posts, than I would like to admit. I find out things publicly, that I definitely should have found out privately. 

Here are a few examples of things I found out publicly, that I would have rather found out through a phone call or text, before the big public announcement... multiple births/pregnancies and engagements. My sister was in a car accident. Several deaths. My mom moving. A few divorces. Several people having illnesses/cancer.

It really frustrates me that people do not seem to care enough to message or call me, and tell me these deeply personal things. They think it is perfectly okay to just let me find out with the rest of the world. By people I mean my own family and my closest friends. If you had told eleven year old me, that people would tell me personal things in such a public manner, I really think I would have laughed at you. I do not think I ever would have thought that possible.

I am here to tell you all that I am hurt by this. I am also done with it. I have made up my mind that if people don't care enough to tell me things in a form of personal communication, than I will not longer afford them this courtesy. I am always texting/calling people to tell them things. No more. It is so hurtful and really makes me feel like because I live so far away, that I just don't matter as much. If this is the truth, so be it. 

I love social media. I think it is a fabulous thing. I think in many ways, it has hindered interpersonal relationships. I live thousands of miles from the people I love most. This has been the case for most of my life. I guess it is an "out of sight, out of mind" situation. This makes me sad, because honestly family and friendships are everything to me. My family that I have not seen in decades, mean just as much to me as the folks I see daily. Family is family. 

I am going to challenge everyone that reads this, to make a conscious effort to always maintain your interpersonal relationships with those that matter to you. Never let technology and social media hinder them. Don't let public announcements be how those that are personal touched by the news, be how they find out. Care enough to text/call/visit those you should, before you make everything known publicly. 

Most recently I found out via Facebook that my mom was moving thousands of miles. I was upset. That is a major life change, and nobody thought to tell me. I was told that everyone thought somebody else had told me. Luckily, I found out in time to pray for the remainder of her trip to be safe.

I also found out yesterday, via Facebook, that my cousin died. I cannot even go there, and tell you how this made me feel. I just would like to ask all of your to pray for my family, and most especially my beloved Auntie and Uncle. Death is never easy, but I always find the death of younger folks to be even harder. I really wish I were closer to my family, and able to be involved more. Unfortunately, I am far away, and rarely involved in anything. My heart, love, thoughts, and prayers are with them all now. I pray that we can all find the comfort we need. 

Donald, I am sorry we did not get to spend much more time together. I do love you, Cousin. I always will. May you forever and always rest in eternal peace. 

So, no, 2014 is absolutely nothing like I thought it would be twenty years ago. It lacks in advancements I thought we would have, and has many advancements I never could have even dreamed up. I will say, on a side note, eleven year old me had a horrible sense of direction, as does thirty-one year old me, so I am so completely grateful that 2014 has GPS! Can I get an amen?! I can't possibly be the only one that would (literally) be lost without GPS eh? 

Is 2014 anything like you imagined it would be twenty years ago? How is it the same? How does it differ? Any piece of technology you are particularly grateful for? 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:                    Baking In A Tornado                                   The Momisodes              Spatulas on Parade         Stacy Sews and Schools            Evil Joy Speaks                              Dinosaur Superhero Mommy        Silence of the Mom                  Climaxed                         Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                  Someone Else’s Genius                 Crumpets and Bollocks                   Confessions of a part-time working mom                           Small Talk Mama

As always, thank you all for taking the time to read this! I hope you all have a great Friday and an amazing weekend! 


  1. HUGS and prayers for you and your family!!!!

  2. I spoke with you before but I just want to repeat how sorry I am about the loss of your cousin.
    I think that the daily connections social media provides to family when you're far from home like you and I are is a huge gift. But if that public connection takes the place of private connections instead of enhancing them, then we've all lost something along the way.

  3. You are so very right.

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin. *hugs*

  4. Jules, I am very sorry for the loss of your cousin and also for the out of sight situation you find yourself in!
    You are so right, people should treat the possibilities that technology brings more thoughtfully. On the other hand I am thrilled about the possibilities that the internet provides us with. Would we ever had met? Not a chance. I am glad we did though :-)

  5. It sucks when we are in touch with everyone but yet out of touch at the same time due to the convenience of social media.

    Even though I absolutely love technology, I find myself at odds with it. I prefer a handwritten note or card, appreciate the people who take time to do it more, and think we need to use some etiquette with social media reaching out to family and friends by phone or in person before posting something life changing.

    I am so sorry for your loss, prayers to you and your family.

  6. I'm sorry for your loss Jules. And even more so that you must deal with the hurt of finding out like that - insult to injury.

    Good for you for taking a stand. Just last week my husband and I were discussing the lack of actual interactions taking place between people - everyone has their head down and while one used to look about and enjoy life, now they're looking at devices and missing out on LIFE!

    Here's to today be a better day. Hugs.

  7. Sorry for your loss. May the arms that embrace your cousin to welcome him into heaven also embrace you and your family providing peace and comfort. I also know what it's like to be far away from everything. When I joined the military, it was like my family disowned me for leaving.



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