June 2014 Secret Subject Swap

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup of your drink of choice, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                      Stacy Sews and Schools

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                    Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                      Juicebox Confession

http://morethancheeseandbeer.blogspot.com           More Than Cheese and Beer

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                     Someone Else’s Genius

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                        Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                    Crumpets and Bullocks

http://fbxadventures.blogspot.com                      FBX Adventures (In Parenting)

http://elleroywashere.com                                  elleroy was here

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                  Climaxed

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com               Evil Joy Speaks

My subject is: You wake up and see a lovely accordion ceiling and realize you are lying UNDER a mushroom! HOW did this happen and what do you do?

It was submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

I stretch my arms out and rub my eyes. When I open them I see this funny ceiling above me. What? What happened to the ceiling? It was smooth and white when I fell asleep. Now, it is textured and brown. Standing up, I look around. I'm outside. How did that happen? Did I sleep walk? Where am I? Walking around, I realize I had fallen asleep under a mushroom. UNDER a mushroom? How big is this mushroom? Looking around, I realize it is quite small, and so am I. I am surrounded by my back yard. So big. I shrank. How on Earth did this happen? What did I eat before I went to sleep? I think back, I had some of Karen's Nacho Style Strawberry Shortcake. That couldn't cause me to shrink. How on Earth did this happen?

I wander around my yard, stumbling over leaves bigger than myself. Now I know how ants must feel. Though maybe they don't feel quite like this. After all, they only know what it is like to be small. I wonder how an ant would feel, if he were suddenly the size of a human? Like King of the world, I bet. After wandering around aimlessly, trying to figure a solution out, I finally decide to sit down and rest. I lean back against the wheel on Chadski's grill. I look around the yard and see things in a whole new light. We definitely need to sweep all the leaves off the patio area. Funny how things that seem like small issues, are suddenly huge issues, when you are the size of a small mouse. 

How did I get to be the size of a mouse? It wasn't what I ate. I don't remember running into anyone. Could it be a spell? Are witches real? Am I dreaming? Pinching my arm, I discover I am definitely awake. If I cannot figure out how I got small, how will I ever make myself big again? If I cannot be big again, how will I live my life? What if Chadski and Weewee cannot see me? Oh no! What if I have to live my life near them, but never seen by them? Will they miss me? More importantly, will Weewee remember me? Will Chadski move on and marry somebody new? She better not be prettier than me. What if Weewee likes her more?

A strange noise pulls me away from my thoughts. What is that noise? It almost sounds like a stampeding elephant. Looking around I finally see the source of the noise. Sasha. Dear, sweet, beautiful Sasha. Huge, massive Sasha. Chadski must have left the gate open, and Sasha wanted to come for a visit. Even at my normal size, Sasha is a big dog, but at this size, she is GIGANTIC. Look at her. Sniffing around. No doubt she is looking for a stick to use to play fetch. There she goes, barking at the door. I am sure Chadski will come out with Weewee soon, and play fetch with her. Do they miss me yet? How long have I been gone?

She is headed my way. Thank goodness she cannot see me. I watch her sniffing around, looking for a stick. Suddenly she perks up and starts toward me. Rut roh. Can she smell me? I sniff my armpits. I showered. I smell fine to me. She starts to bark at me and paw at the ground. Yes, she definitely knows I am here. She seems excited. She must recognize my smell. She is mighty excited! She is jumping around and clawing the ground near me. Oh no! She is getting mighty close. She might accidentally step on me! What do I do!? Oh no! Her paw is headed right... Mama! Mama! Mama! 

Mama! Mama! Mama! 

Huh? Weewee? Where is she!? I look around, and feel something pulling my hair, just as Sasha's paw is about to land on me...

Ow! My eyes jerk open. I look around for Sasha. All I see is Weewee smiling at me, holding and handful of my hair. Huh? Oh. I am in my bed. Weewee is here. My pillows are here. Oh yeah. I laid down with Weewee for a nap. Phew. It was all a dream. Thank goodness. Apparently nap time is over, and it is back to reality. Man, I will never complain about being six feet tall again. It definitely beats the alternative.