Thursday, February 12, 2015

Clean Up on Aisle Unsolicited Parental Advice #Mommitment

I was shopping a few nights ago, and I had an interesting encounter in the produce department. I was stocking up on bananas. Weewee loves them as do I. Actually, Chad will even eat bananas. He isn't really into fruits and vegetables. As I was filling up my bag with bananas, a fellow mommy decided to give me some advice. 

She wanted to make sure that I knew that I really should not feed my child bananas. There are far better fruits available, and only "idiots" feed their children bananas, and I definitely "shouldn't be an idiot".

I smiled politely and went about my shopping, thanking her for the advice. 

A small part of me wanted to enlighten her. Tell her that she was probably the idiot. Inform her that bananas are just fine. Most things are just fine, in moderation. They personally help me with my leg cramps. 

I wanted to tell her to take her judgment somewhere else, that I was fully stocked, mostly with self-judgement. 

I wanted to tell her I would happily feed my child a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, if she would foot the bill. In the meantime I will do the best with what funds I have, even if that means giving my kid lots and lots of bananas. 

I said none of that. Life is too short. 

I know that I am doing the best I can. That is what matters.

Where was she when I was reading labels and finding the healthiest foods possible?

The thing is... that is how the world works. Parents are so quick to pass judgment and give unsolicited advice, and slow to give compliments. True, genuine compliments. 

I hope this changes. I hope a day comes when we shine spotlights on the good we see in other parents, and genuinely let them know that we see them doing their best.

That is all any of us can do. Our best. Some people have better bests than others, and that is okay.

I fully acknowledge I am not the best mom. I am not the most able mom.

I am doing my best though. I will strive forever to make my best better. 

So, to the mom that gave me advice over the bananas... Thank you. I promise not to judge you. I promise not to call you names. I promise to see that you are doing your best, even if your best is to give advice to other moms. 

If you happen to be reading this, and the encounter sounds familiar, and you are that mom that gave me advice, please know that I am genuinely thankful that you care enough to tell other moms what you feel is best. Please, just know your best may not be another mom's best, and that is okay. Also, what is your beef with bananas? They are delish! 

If you have come to a point, where you see the problem we moms face all too regularly, and you feel it is time for us moms to support one another, and not tear each other down, please click on the photo below and sign the petition! Make a Mommitment to end Mom Wars. We are all in this together, and we are all doing our best.

Next Life, NO Kids


  1. I have never figured out what pleasure there is in sticking your nose where it does not belong. Bananas? Give your head a shake, lady. Like you, I could think of a lot of things to say to her -- pat yourself on the back for keeping your cool and finding a positive side to this experience :)

  2. I love this. It's so easy to pass judgment on someone you feel is judging you. I think it's natural to feel defensive. It's harder to make the right choice and not to retaliate. Good on YOU, mama!

  3. Love it and totally agree. And also dislike unsolicited parenting advice. Sheesh. Good post!



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